You defeated Shrek!\n\n"It looks like you win, laddeh," he says. "I guess I'll have to use my magic to help you get home now."\n\n"Magic?" you say.\n\n"Yes. My jizz grants the power of teleportation."\n\n"WHAT?"\n\n"You have to cover yourself in it completely, and then the magic will send you home."\n\nShrek jacks off all over you while epic choral music plays. Soon, you can't see anything, that's how covered in cum you are. But when you wipe the jizz out of your eyes, you find yourself back at home, as though none of it had ever happened.\n\nYou sigh. "At least it's ogre now."\n\nBut on the winds, you hear a voice whisper...\n\n<i>"It's not ogre... 'til I say it's ogre."</i>\n\nShrek is love, Shrek is life.\n\n<b>THE END</b>
<<silently>>\n<<set $hp = 100>>\n<<set $xp = 0>>\n<<set $metogre = 0>>\n<<set $metshrek = 0>>\n<<endsilently>>You just moved into a new neighborhood out in the middle of nowhere, and you're bored as hell. You decide to explore the swamp near your house. Several hours pass, but there doesn't seem to be anything too interesting. Finally, you spot a light in the distance--a house, of some sort. Looks like there might be something here after all. Do you [[approach it|swamp1]] or [[keep walking|swamp2]]?
<<silently>>\n<<set $enemyhp = 100>>\n<<endsilently>>Shrek strips naked, revealing his enormous ogresized penis. You gasp in shock and horror.\n\n<<print "HP:" + $hp>>\n<<print "Shrek's HP:" + $enemyhp>>\n\n[[Attack|shrekfight2]]\n[[Run|swamp5]]
<<silently>>\n<<set $hp = 100>>\n<<endsilently>>You sleep for a few hours. You feel much better now.\n\n[[Continue|Forest]]
Your camp site is quite meager, but right now it's the closest thing you have to a home. Still, there's not a whole lot to do here.\n\nYou can [[rest|sleep]] to restore your health.\nYou can [[explore|wander]] the forest.\nYou can go [[back|swamp12]] towards the house.
<<silently>>\n<<set $randomizer = either(1,2)>>\n<<endsilently>>You spend some time just walking around, but you feel on edge, like something's watching you. Suddenly...\n\n[[Continue|Battle]]\n\n
You head back towards <<if $metogre is 0>>the ogre's house<<else>>the house<<endif>>.\n\nYou knock politely.\n\n<<if $metshrek is 0 and $metogre is 0>>To your shock, an ogre slams the door wide open! You hear a song play from nowhere. <i>Somebody once told me, the world is gonna roll me...</i><<endif>><<if $metshrek is 1>>"Hello again, laddeh," the ogre says. "So, are you here to fight?"<<endif>><<if $metshrek is 0>> The ogre doesn't seem to want to hurt you... this time.\n<<silently>>\n<<set $metshrek = 1>>\n<<endsilently>>"Hello laddeh," says the ogre. "My name is Shrek. And if you don't leave right now, you'll just have to fight me. Because this is mah swamp."\n\n"What happens if I win?" you ask.\n\n"I'll help you get home," he says, with a smile on his face.\n\n"And what if you win?" you say.\n\nThe ogre smiles even wider, but he doesn't say anything.<<endif>>\n\n[[Fight|shrekfight]]\n[[Leave|Forest]]\n
Shrek stares at you lustfully. He throws you roughly onto his bed and removes your pants. "You should have checked yourself before you Shreked yourself," he says.\n\nOne month later, your body is discovered in the middle of an empty swamp. Its anus has been completely obliterated, leaving a shrock-sized crater where your butt used to be.\n\n[[Eww.|Game Ogre]]
<<if $beenhere neq 1>>You keep walking but nothing changes. The sky gets darker and darker. You can't find any sort of way out. Frustrated, you find a place to sleep for the night. You think to yourself that perhaps, you'll find your house tomorrow. But part of you knows better. You're trapped here.\n\nWhen you wake up, you're in the middle of the forest, and you're not sure what to do.<<endif>>\n<<if $beenhere eq 1>>You head back to camp.<<endif>>\n\n<<silently>>\n<<set $beenhere = 1>>\n<<endsilently>>[[Continue|Forest]]
Shrek smacks you with his shrock for <<print 40 - $xp>> damage!<<silently>><<set $hp = $hp - (40 - $xp)>><<endsilently>>\nYou hit Shrek for <<print $xp + 20>> damage!<<silently>><<set $enemyhp = $enemyhp - ($xp + 20)>><<endsilently>>\n\n<<print "HP:" + $hp>>\n<<print "Shrek's HP:" + $enemyhp>> \n<<if $hp lte 0>> You succumb to your wounds! [[Continue|Game Ogre2]]<<endif>>\n<<if $enemyhp lte 0 and $hp > 0>> You defeated Shrek![[Continue|End]]<<endif>>\n<<if $hp > 0 and $enemyhp > 0>>The battle continues! You can [[keep fighting|shrekfight2]] or\n[[run|swamp5]].<<endif>>
The Lost Swamp
jquery:off\nhash:off\nbookmark:on\nmodernizr:off\nundo:on\nobfuscate:off\nexitprompt:off\nblankcss:off\n
You escape safely.\n\n[[Continue|Forest]]
The <<if $randomizer eq 1>>donkey <<else>>cat<<endif>> hits you for <<if $randomizer eq 1>> <<print 20 - $xp>> damage! <<else>> <<print 30 - $xp>> damage! <<endif>><<silently>> <<if $randomizer eq 1>> <<set $hp = $hp - (20 - $xp)>> <<endif>> <<if $randomizer eq 2>> <<set $hp = $hp - (30 - $xp)>><<endif>><<endsilently>>\nYou hit the <<if $randomizer eq 1>>donkey <<else>>cat<<endif>> for <<if $randomizer eq 1>> <<print $xp + 25>> <<else>> <<print $xp + 25>><<endif>> damage!<<silently>> <<if $randomizer eq 1>> <<set $enemyhp = $enemyhp - ($xp + 25)>> <<endif>> <<if $randomizer eq 2>> <<set $enemyhp = $enemyhp - ($xp + 25)>><<endif>><<endsilently>>\n\n<<print "HP:" + $hp>>\n<<print "Enemy HP:" + $enemyhp>> \n<<if $hp lte 0>> You succumb to your wounds! [[Continue|Game Ogre]]<<endif>>\n<<if $enemyhp lte 0 and $hp > 0>> The enemy succumbs to its wounds! You feel yourself growing stronger! <<if $randomizer eq 1>><<set $xp = $xp + 1>><<else>><<set $xp = $xp + 3>><<endif>> [[Continue|Forest]]<<endif>>\n<<if $hp > 0 and $enemyhp > 0>>The battle continues! You can [[keep fighting|Battle2]] or\n[[run|Battle3]].<<endif>>
It shows a spooky tall person wearing a suit. The spookiest part of all is that he doesn't have a face. Someone has scrawled "NO EYES, ALWAYS WATCHING" across the paper.\n\n1/8 Pages\n\n"This is retarded," you say. "I'm done here."\n\nThen a slenderman popped out.\n\nYou died.\n\n[[Continue|Game Ogre]]
You decide not to take a chance on the house. What kind of weirdo lives out in a swamp? Sure, they might be harmless, but they might also be some creepy axe murderer.\n\nIt's getting dark, you realize, and you should be heading home.\n\nYou keep walking back towards your house, but something's gone wrong--shouldn't you be home by now? You've passed the same bush three times (it looks a lot like Shirley Bassey). Are the woods keeping you trapped there through some sort of evil magic?\n\nYou see an ominous-looking note taped to a tree. Something about it gives you the chills.\n\nDo you [[take it|swamp8]] or do you [[keep walking|swamp10]]?
Nervously, you knock on the oversized door--big enough for a giant, you think to yourself--but there's no answer. You try again, and then you hear a thumping sound. It sounds like giant footsteps. Whatever is behind that door is either very tall, or very fat.\n\nThe door opens. It's a big, scary, green ogre! It roars at you fiercely. Do you [[run away|swamp5]] or do you [[stand your ground|swamp6]]?
It looks like a run-down old house, that seems to be built out of a giant tree stump. There's a light on inside. You're not sure who--or what--might live there. Do you [[take a chance and knock|swamp3]] or do you [[snoop around a bit to figure out if it's safe|swamp4]]?
<<silently>>\n<<set $metshrek = 1>>\n<<endsilently>>"Hello laddeh," says the ogre. "My name is Shrek. And if you don't leave right now, you'll just have to fight me. Because this is mah swamp."\n\n"What happens if I win?" you ask.\n\n"I'll help you get home," he says, with a smile on his face.\n\n"And what if you win?" you say.\n\nThe ogre smiles even wider, but he doesn't say anything.\n\nDo you [[fight him|shrekfight]] or do you [[leave|swamp5]]?
You bravely stand your ground. "Please," you say, "I'm sorry! It's just I was lost, and tired, and--"\n\nThe ogre simply looms over you and whispers, "This is the part where you're supposed to run away."\n\nSuddenly, he lets out a fierce ogre roar. You scream in shock!\n\n[[Run|swamp5]]\n[[Fight|shrekfight]]
You decide to circle the building a few times, and try to find out more about whoever lives there. After all, you think, talking to strangers is never a good idea. You wander around back, and you see a sign warning off intruders--"Beware: Ogre."\n\nSuddenly, you hear a door slam up front. It's coming out of the house! You see a giant green monster charge towards you, with a look of anger in its eyes. <b>"WHAT... ARE YOU DOING... IN MY SWAAAMMMPP?!?"</b>\n\nDo you [[run|swamp5]] or do you [[try to explain yourself|swamp7]]?
<<silently>>\n<<set $metogre = 1>>\n<<endsilently>>You run away from the scary ogre. You manage to lose him, but for how long?\n\n[[Continue|swamp10]]
<<silently>>\n<<set $enemyhp = 100>>\n<<endsilently>><<if $randomizer eq 1>>A wild donkey appears! It's got a knowing smirk on its face, and you have the strangest feeling that if it could talk it would sound like Eddie Murphy.<<else>>A wild cat appears! It's got a funny hat and cute little boots, but it's carrying a dangerous sword.<<endif>>\nThe creature looks like it's about to attack you! What do you do?\n\n<<print "HP:" + $hp>>\n<<print "Enemy HP:" + $enemyhp>>\n\n[[Fight back|Battle2]]\n[[Run|Battle3]]
Brogre420
<b>GAME OGRE.</b>\n\n[[Restart|Start]]